A Visit to the White House!

I visited the White House website today. It's chock full of blogs, articles, blurbs, words, and pictures that are meant to convey happy happy joy joy.

Here's what one of the blurbs said:

"The President's position on health care insurance reform is informed by the ten letters he reads every day. Watch a behind-the-scenes video showing how these letters are chosen from the tens of thousands he receives daily."

There are only 26 letters in the alphabet, so I don't know how he gets tens of thousands everyday, but I'll assume some of those are repeat and double letters.

I wonder which ten he usually picks? I know which ones I would pick for him:

L-O-A-D-O-F-C-R-A-P

Watching Obama pour through tens of thousands of letters sounds as exciting as watching grass grow. I'd rather see a behind-the-scenes video of his speechwriters uploading his audacious speeches onto Sir Teleprompter.

There's a little blurb at the bottom of the front page asking people to tattle on other people who are spreading rumors and disinformation about the health care reform bill. They want the tattle tales to email them with the rumor-monger's blog or chain letters (not to be confused with chain mail which is what I wear under my clothing everyday - made of mithril, of course), links, or whatever.

I think I'll send them all of their own propaganda. They want to know who's putting out misinformation, I'll happily let them know it's them. Using an anonymous email address on a public computer in an internet center 100 miles from my hometown, of course.

There's an article about "Green the Block" and the "Hip Hop Caucus." Is that cool sounding or what?

Us racist Redneck backwoods right-wing nutjobs should come up with something snazzy like that. The "Hoedown Caucus?" Or maybe the "Astroturf Caucus?" I think it's best to make fun of the terms the left comes up with to make fun of us by using those terms to make fun right back at them by making fun of ourselves, therefore rendering their taunting powerless.

Speaking of green... Has anyone, besides me, noticed that whenever anything "Goes Green" the actual "green" disappears and the whole venture ends up going into the "red?" If Obama really supported "green," he would tell people to "Go Black!" No business wants to see their green disappear and the bottom line go red because they've "gone green" - they want it to be in the black, whether they're green or not. Of course, we all know today's "green" really means yesterday's "Red" - eh KGB, nudge, nudge, wink, wink?

Personally, I fully support the "greening" of America. After all, if the entire population has a lot of green, we can become the power brokers behind the puppets and we could then control their movements. We could oust those nasty money-grubbing, power-grabbing, back-stabbing creepy bankers.

When I think about creepy bankers, I can't help but picture Dick Van Dyke in "Mary Poppins." And Mr. Potter in "It's a Wonderful Life." Do you suppose they based those characters on the Rockefellers and J.P. Morgans of this world? I know the movies were filmed before George Soros became the slimy slug that he is today, but he does bear a striking resemblence to Mr. Potter.

Back to the White House...

The Prez signed a new bill called the Lily Ledbetter Act. I think all bills should have a "Harry Potter" (no relation to Mr. Potter mentioned above) type of name given to them. I'll address this frivolity in another blog.

Anyway, here's his quote:

"Ultimately, equal pay isn't just an economic issue for millions of Americans and their families, it's a question of who we are -- and whether we're truly living up to our fundamental ideals," President Obama said. "Whether we'll do our part, as generations before us, to ensure those words put on paper some 200 years ago really mean something -- to breathe new life into them with a more enlightened understanding that is appropriate for our time."

One might think the 200 year old paper he's talking about is the United States Constitution, but he's actually talking about Mrs. Washington's grocery list:
1. 50 lbs. of flour
2. 100 lbs. of sugar
3. 100 lbs. of lard
4. Fine grit sandpaper for George's teeth

You have to admit, the rhetoric contained in the above quote is breathtaking in the extreme. In fact, it's so rhetorical that I am bound by the Law of Grammar to not actually respond.

As a side note, we are indeed a much more enlightened people. We no longer use lard. Oh, and I do like the idea of "equal pay." Mr. Prez: I want to earn as much as you earned last year. That's my fundamental ideal.

I ended my tour of the White House website by checking out the link to "A New Era of Responsibility." Obama's quote on this page:

"A budget is more than simply numbers on a page. It is a measure of how well we are living up to our obligations to ourselves and one another."

I always thought a budget went something like this:
Money coming in: $1,000.00 per month
Money going out: $750.00 for rent and car payment
Money left over: $250.00 - put $100.00 in savings, use the rest for food, etc.

Obama's budget goes something like this:
Money coming in: A couple hundred billion
Money going out: A couple hundred trillion
Money left over: None, borrow a couple hundred more trillion from China

You'll notice Obama's budget doesn't actually have "numbers" - just letters. Tens of thousands of them, in fact.

The Unionized Statists of Obama

Dear Tax Paying Citizen of the United States of America,

Your Congress and White House Administration are hard at work! Here are some of the issues we have been debating and deciding on:

1. After much debate and consideration, we have decided to change the name of our country, and we would like you to know that you may write or email us with your own ideas for a new name, but that we won't actually read any of your suggestions, and we certainly won't take any of your own desires into account as we consider a new name. We just wanted to let you know that we are actually doing something here.

We tossed around several ideas, hoping that a new name will better reflect the current "mood" of our nation. "The United States" will soon be a superfluous term, as it is becoming more apparent that we are turning over the authority of this nation to labor unions. The name "The Unionized States of America" was bandied about, but was finally rejected as it wasn't quite on target in representing the type of nation we are happily evolving into.

The next suggestion, "The Unionized Statists of America" was nearly a perfect name, as it represents our union-centric central government, and it describes the type of government we are ascending to. Additionally, as everything becomes more nationalized, legislation on the state level will become more obsolete. Eventually, we will no longer need any states at all, so we decided using "Statists" was similar enough to "States" that most people would either not object or simply would not notice, as they are typically fixated on philandering celebrities and philandering politicians.

That name, however, was finally rejected when it was brought to our attention that the word "America" is actually an homage to a dead white guy. As a more appropriate homage to the new and improved multi-cultural divinity that we are, we felt it would be much more precise to honor the One man who has been the catalyst for all of our recent joyous accomplishments. We feel that you will surely agree with our decision, and that it will certainly make you feel good knowing we have chosen this path.

Therefore, the new name of our country shall henceforth be known as:

"The Unionized Statists of Obama"

New coinage and bills are being printed bearing this new name as this letter is being dictated. All government stationary will now be imprinted with the new name and the new symbol for our nation.

2. It was also decided, unanimously, to replace the stars and stripes with our new symbol, which represents unity and Oneness with each other. New flags are being sent to all public and private schools, the Unionized Statists Post Offices, and state capitols (which will soon house federal offices for the millions of jobs the One created).

3. In the spirit of unity, your hard working Congress decreed today that there will no longer be a two party political system, as the only discernible difference between the two parties is the letter "D" and the letter "R." In order to reflect our more enlightened society, we have decided to adopt a new political party name: Utopicrat. All serving politicians will now have the letter "U" behind their name - not as a label, since that is no longer necessary, but as a symbol of our homogeneous Unity.

Over the next few months, you will be receiving occasional updates on the progress being made by your hard working Congressional members. We encourage you to keep apprised of new developments so that you will be prepared for the inevitable tax increases that will ensue.

Please, don't hesitate to not call our offices or send us emails, as we are more than happy to not have to take into consideration our "constituents" complaints or suggestions.

Thank you,

Your Hard Working Congress - U and the White House Administration - U

Dear Barry,

Dear Barry,

Joe was right! You (and our nation) are being tested in unprecedented ways just six months after taking office. Who could have guessed that for once Biden wasn't talking out of his nether regions?

Iran, North Korea, Russia, China... The bullies of the world are getting ready to beat up our nation, and what are you doing? Posturing like a 120 pound asthmatic, violin playing weakling. Were you the kid who was never allowed out of the house to play with the other kids in the neighborhood? I can see you standing at the window while they run around and play with each other, learning all of those vital social skills that will come into play later in their lives.

North Korea is proudly announcing they are going to test another missile - this time aimed in the "general vicinity" of the Hawaiian Islands. What is your response? "Sanctions!" Not just any sanctions, though: "U.N. sanctions!" Oh my, those really are the worse kind of sanctions.

Look, Barry, all you have to do is threaten that little tyrant with an air strike. Just get in his face and do some of that finger pointing you did with Chavez (just what did you say to Chavez during that exchange?).

Look, I'll even send you the correct words to use on your Blackberry: "Hey you little marshmallow. Just who the do you think you're messing with?" At this point, you jab him in the chest with your index finger. Keep jabbing until he flinches.

"Where do you get the cajones to threaten ME and mine? Hey, and while I'm at it, what's with all the animosity towards Hawaii?" Make sure you are making your trademark Obama "stern" face, which will cause Kim to recoil in terror. Then continue: "Look, Kimmie, I'm the only tyrant big enough for this planet, you insignificant little slug, so step down or I'm gonna send you down."

Mr. Jong should, by this point, be stuttering and unable to coherently respond. Make sure all of his ministers, administrators, and family are around, then point to each of them and tell them "And the same goes for you guys too!" Arrange to have a horse head waiting for him in his bed that night, and set up daily deliveries of dead fish wrapped in newspaper - these should be sent to various members of his staff and family. Make sure the fish are not just dead, but stinky and rotten, otherwise the recipients may mistake them for gifts and eat them.

As for Iran, you are for once taking a logical stance (voting "present"), although I'm sure it's for all of the wrong reasons. You probably had orders from your mullah masters to keep your continuously flapping lips shut about what's happening over there.



Chances are, the real reason to keep mum right now is because the Iranian people are protesting for the Type B Tyranny rather than the Type A Tyranny. When the dust settles, I'm sure the mullahs will be back at their sworn jihad against The Great Satan. It's nice of you to help them in this cause, by the way, with your hatred of all things American and your constant demoralization of the people who elected you to office. Thanks, by the way, for the bowing and the apologies to our enemies. Oh, and for the insulting treatment you gave our allies.

The best way to deal with Russia is to recirculate ALL of Reagan's old speeches. Send all of them over to Putin with a note attached: "What he said." It probably won't stop Russia's desire to re-incorporate, but it might slow them down a bit as they try to figure out just what the hell you really stand for.

Our hands are unfortunately, tied when it comes to China. They own us now, so we can't really do much about it, other than learn Chinese and develop a tolerance for MSG. Just look the other way when they send money to our enemies.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch called the Unionized States of America... those of us who already have a health insurance plan and are satisfied with it may keep it, right? Gosh, that's so generous of you! Gee, thanks.

Who do you think you're fooling? First off, this just means that we will be getting double dinged: we'll be paying for our own employer-provided group insurance via reduced wages while at the same time paying higher taxes in order to fund your socialized health care program.

Secondly, you will phase out private insurance. It's inevitable and inexorable. It will happen, of course, because the goal is to create a dependent and wholly new "class" of citizens.

Duh.

And it's all being done, from the front side, for our own good and for the betterment of society and for fairness and equality. However, it's the unions who are going to reap the benefits from the backside. As Milton Friedman said, behind every piece of "good intention" legislation you will find someone behind the scenes pushing for its advancement, whose only interest is for their own gain. Once you have succeeded in socializing every aspect of medical care, it will be a very simple process to turn over the management of the professionals to unions.

The audacity of your complete disregard for our Constitution is breathtaking. Your masters have taught you well. The ignorance of the American people is alarming. You are a magician of some worth, making Houdini look like a cheap card trick amateur on the street corner.

I do hope your policies fail, but that they don't destroy our country in the process.


Sincerely,

A Constitutionalist

To Those of Us Who are Gifted: I Salute Us!

I've been spouting for awhile on myspace, then on Townhall, and now on Smart Girl Politics. I recently added blogger to that list, so now I'm up to four blogsites.

And I'm not even getting paid.

So I've decided to devote all of my future blogs on myspace to the stuff going on in my life - a sort of "Family and Friends" edition. I'll save my political rants for this venue, Townhall, and SGP. I'll cross post at each one.

What a chore.

I have no idea how to garner followers, but I can say that receiving comments is very important to me! I reply to every comment as well - I think one of the best things about being able to blog is the ability to engage in dialogue afterwards. How many times have you read a magazine or newspaper article and thought to yourself "Dammit! I want to dialogue with someone about this crap!"

My last couple of posts have been relatively serious ones, although my open letter to jeaneane garololololow was kind of fun.

By the way, here's an open message to Mr. O: I'm not a tea bag waver. I'm a flag waver.

I'm not a community activist or organizer or a political rabble rouser. I'm just an ordinary person who is witness to the current trend of unprecedented and extraordinary events.

I've been amazed at how many other people I have found who are like me: gifted. That's right - all of us conservatives who are scouring the internet, looking for yet another article and more information and reading each others blogs and leaving comments... we are ALL gifted.

We have been blessed with the gift of discernment. How else can one explain the vast difference between what we hear Obama say and do and what liberals hear him say and do? This is bigger than the difference of political and social beliefs between liberals and conservatives during Bush's reign. This difference runs much deeper to the core of who we are, not just what we think.

We have something innate - some kind of radar or warning signal that blares "Warning! Warning! Incoming Lies! Incoming Lies!" whenever he starts to read his teleprompter.

We have also been gifted with the ability to see the connections and patterns, even when the dots aren't prefectly lined up.

For example, I read a quick little something during the presidential campaign about Obama being involved with some guy named Ayers. So I looked him up. Wow!

Then I read about Obama being connected with some guy named Tony Rezko, so I looked him up. Wow!

Then I read about Obama receiving campaign donations from some guy named George Soros. Wow!

Three times doth a pattern make. After that, I started finding names and organizations in practically every article I read: ACORN, Moveon.org, Democratic Socialists of America, The Tides Foundation... one link after another. One connection after another. And most of these names appeared in MSM articles. They didn't know it, but it was the MSM who provided the ammunition I needed to finalize my opinion about Obama.

I would see that Michelle Obama worked for someone and got paid a fee, then find out that this someone was a former chair of some committee that some other nefarious acquaintence of Obama's had established using money donated from this guy who also donated to Obama, etc., etc. I started to wonder if I was reading too much into all of these connections - perhaps I was degenerating into a *gasp* conspiracy theorist!

Then I discovered some conservative websites, and LO! I started reading other blogs and comments and articles written by conservative pundits and I said "Fantastic! I'm NOT just seeing dust motes in the air! There really ARE connections and links between all of these people and organizations and Obama! See? Other people say so, too! I am validated! Woop!"

Then, of course, I would remember that figuring out Obama's real motivation was not an occasion for wooping it up.

And now here I am, on a path - a road - with other like-minded people who are worried and frightened, and pissed off and sick of the bullshit. And who sit here, day after day, absolutely flabbergasted by the outrageous conduct of this so-called POTUS. And the outrageous conduct of the MSM and their sycophantic shoe licking. And the outrageous refusal of the starry-eyed to consider for even one moment that they might have elected into power a true blue ringer.

Well, there ya have it: an introduction to S'marty, a nifty little nickname bestowed upon me by a dear friend who likes to tease me about being a know-it-all.