A Visit to the White House!

I visited the White House website today. It's chock full of blogs, articles, blurbs, words, and pictures that are meant to convey happy happy joy joy.

Here's what one of the blurbs said:

"The President's position on health care insurance reform is informed by the ten letters he reads every day. Watch a behind-the-scenes video showing how these letters are chosen from the tens of thousands he receives daily."

There are only 26 letters in the alphabet, so I don't know how he gets tens of thousands everyday, but I'll assume some of those are repeat and double letters.

I wonder which ten he usually picks? I know which ones I would pick for him:

L-O-A-D-O-F-C-R-A-P

Watching Obama pour through tens of thousands of letters sounds as exciting as watching grass grow. I'd rather see a behind-the-scenes video of his speechwriters uploading his audacious speeches onto Sir Teleprompter.

There's a little blurb at the bottom of the front page asking people to tattle on other people who are spreading rumors and disinformation about the health care reform bill. They want the tattle tales to email them with the rumor-monger's blog or chain letters (not to be confused with chain mail which is what I wear under my clothing everyday - made of mithril, of course), links, or whatever.

I think I'll send them all of their own propaganda. They want to know who's putting out misinformation, I'll happily let them know it's them. Using an anonymous email address on a public computer in an internet center 100 miles from my hometown, of course.

There's an article about "Green the Block" and the "Hip Hop Caucus." Is that cool sounding or what?

Us racist Redneck backwoods right-wing nutjobs should come up with something snazzy like that. The "Hoedown Caucus?" Or maybe the "Astroturf Caucus?" I think it's best to make fun of the terms the left comes up with to make fun of us by using those terms to make fun right back at them by making fun of ourselves, therefore rendering their taunting powerless.

Speaking of green... Has anyone, besides me, noticed that whenever anything "Goes Green" the actual "green" disappears and the whole venture ends up going into the "red?" If Obama really supported "green," he would tell people to "Go Black!" No business wants to see their green disappear and the bottom line go red because they've "gone green" - they want it to be in the black, whether they're green or not. Of course, we all know today's "green" really means yesterday's "Red" - eh KGB, nudge, nudge, wink, wink?

Personally, I fully support the "greening" of America. After all, if the entire population has a lot of green, we can become the power brokers behind the puppets and we could then control their movements. We could oust those nasty money-grubbing, power-grabbing, back-stabbing creepy bankers.

When I think about creepy bankers, I can't help but picture Dick Van Dyke in "Mary Poppins." And Mr. Potter in "It's a Wonderful Life." Do you suppose they based those characters on the Rockefellers and J.P. Morgans of this world? I know the movies were filmed before George Soros became the slimy slug that he is today, but he does bear a striking resemblence to Mr. Potter.

Back to the White House...

The Prez signed a new bill called the Lily Ledbetter Act. I think all bills should have a "Harry Potter" (no relation to Mr. Potter mentioned above) type of name given to them. I'll address this frivolity in another blog.

Anyway, here's his quote:

"Ultimately, equal pay isn't just an economic issue for millions of Americans and their families, it's a question of who we are -- and whether we're truly living up to our fundamental ideals," President Obama said. "Whether we'll do our part, as generations before us, to ensure those words put on paper some 200 years ago really mean something -- to breathe new life into them with a more enlightened understanding that is appropriate for our time."

One might think the 200 year old paper he's talking about is the United States Constitution, but he's actually talking about Mrs. Washington's grocery list:
1. 50 lbs. of flour
2. 100 lbs. of sugar
3. 100 lbs. of lard
4. Fine grit sandpaper for George's teeth

You have to admit, the rhetoric contained in the above quote is breathtaking in the extreme. In fact, it's so rhetorical that I am bound by the Law of Grammar to not actually respond.

As a side note, we are indeed a much more enlightened people. We no longer use lard. Oh, and I do like the idea of "equal pay." Mr. Prez: I want to earn as much as you earned last year. That's my fundamental ideal.

I ended my tour of the White House website by checking out the link to "A New Era of Responsibility." Obama's quote on this page:

"A budget is more than simply numbers on a page. It is a measure of how well we are living up to our obligations to ourselves and one another."

I always thought a budget went something like this:
Money coming in: $1,000.00 per month
Money going out: $750.00 for rent and car payment
Money left over: $250.00 - put $100.00 in savings, use the rest for food, etc.

Obama's budget goes something like this:
Money coming in: A couple hundred billion
Money going out: A couple hundred trillion
Money left over: None, borrow a couple hundred more trillion from China

You'll notice Obama's budget doesn't actually have "numbers" - just letters. Tens of thousands of them, in fact.